......

In The Trenches Together: True Friends

There are many kinds of friends: high-school friends, friends you grew up with, fair-weather friends and then, there are true friends. And among true friends there are friends that are distant and there are friends that are with you in the trenches; friends that you are partnering with. The "partnership-friends," mainly those who are in your congregation*, are to me the truest friends.

[*your congregation: fellow followers of Jesus with whom you meet on a regular basis to worship God, learn of His word and encourage one another; believers to whom you are committed, and leaders to whom you are submitted]

THE FOUNDATION: BEING JESUS' FRIEND FIRST
What makes a friendship rich and meaningful is when two people are going in the same direction together, fulfilling the same purpose. Jesus has many people who believe in Him and therefore, are going to heaven with Him, but friendship with Jesus is conditioned upon partnership with Him in His Kingdom work - in loving one another. He said,
.

"You are my friends if you do what I command...

...this is my command: Love each other.

.

John 15:14, 17 (emphasis mine)

.

The key word here is "if." Friendship with Jesus is conditioned upon our joining Him in His love for people. So, true friendship is connected to partnership - two people going in the same direction, with the same purpose, the same heart, in the trenches together. Jesus is first a friend to us - by giving His life for us. When we believed in Him, we were then open to hear Him invite us to be a friend to Him. Taking Him up on that invitation and committing to follow Him wholeheartedly, your whole life makes you His friend. It's upon this friendship/partnership with Jesus that we develop true friends - Kingdom friends.

TRUE FRIENDS: IN THE TRENCHES TOGETHER
My truest friends are those believers in my congregation that have been with me through the years: when I'm at my best, and when I'm at my worst...through times of celebration and through very difficult times. People who are committed to me and I to them. And I'm blessed to have friends like this in my congregation - like the couple who drove with me and my wife to the doggie shelter when we had to put our little dog down and helped me dig the hole to bury her. Or the couple who will listen to my wife and I when we need to get some feedback and counsel. Or the men that I meet with on a weekly basis that hold my foot to the fire and I them. And on and on I could go.

I'm a bless'd man because I have some true friends in the Kingdom, in our congregation. A brother told me the other day: "Michael, you're first my friend, then my pastor." Some pastors might be offended by this. I was honored. Why? Because one only needs to be a part of our congregation to call me pastor, but for one to call me his friend, that takes time, commitment, working through conflicts, spending time with, "being there" for, and earning trust.

THE GAUGE: DO I HAVE TRUE "KINGDOM FRIENDS"
So, how do you know if you have that kind of friend? [speaking to guys now...some tuff talk...so, if you can't take it, proceed no further] If you're a believer who has left a fellowship and didn't stick around because there was a conflict, you missed a golden opportunity to develop a true friendship. What will it take to get started again? Stop bein' such a wimp and get back into the battle!
.
Enough of this, "Well, I was hurt, so I left the church." That's baby-talk. What kind of a man does that? I'll tell you what kind of a man - a "girly-man" that's who. Men ought to use the testosterone God gave them to aggressively move in to messy situations and bring order to them. Did you confront the one who hurt you and really try to work it out in a Biblical way before you left the congregation? If you didn't, then you've never grown up. You're a wimp! Grow up! [to women reading this: relax, guys can take this kind of talk].
.;

Josh Harris summed up this problem in title of his book: Stop Dating Your Church. People who are not committed to a local congregation cannot experience these true frienships. They have a "dating" experience with a congregation and will never experience the richness of true friendship that only committment brings. They're floaters. A "floater" is one who goes from congregation to congregation, one who is afraid to commit, afraid to allow someone to really know him, afraid to meet with men on a regular basis and be real, vulnerable.

.

If that's the case, then, unless there is a change, the chance of experiencing this kind of true friendship is about 0%. But, if one overcome his fears, and works through hurts and rejection and inner vows (i.e. "People hurt me when I opened up to them and I'll never open up to another person - ever!!!"), and starts being that friend to others, that man will be amazed at how many true friends he will have in his life.

.

THE OPPORTUNITY: OPEN TO ALL

Is there someone in your congregation that really knows you? That you could pour out your heart to and he would listen to you? That has cared about you enough that, rather than bailing when there was conflict, he talked with you and worked it out with you? If you have a man like this in your congregation, then you have a true friend and you are a rich man. If you don't, well, it's not to late to start. But this is rare.

.

The good thing about true friendships is this: anyone can develop these true friendships. The prerequisite is: one first must be sold out to the Lord and committed to the congreation in which God planted him. If that's in place, then just start by being that kind of friend to people.
..

"A man that has friends must show himself friendly..."

.

Proverbs 18:24 (KJV)

.

JUMP IN: THE WATER'S FINE

Don't wait for one to pursue that kind of friendship with you. Stop waitin' and start initiatin'. And, it's not only worth it, but I've seen no other way that this true friendship can be experineced. It's there waiting for you. The real question is: "Do you want it, or will you let your fears control you?"

.

O.K. Maybe your lack of commitment was done in ignorance. Maybe you didn't know that you, as a man of God, were required to press in and do all you can to work things out rather than to put your tail between your legs and flee. Maybe you didn't know the Biblical way of how to deal with conflicts. But, for the sake of Christ and His Kingdom, you don't have to continue in this ignorance. The Body of Christ needs some examples of men who won't wimp out and will stay the course; those who put feet to the word committment and who work out conflicts - who develop true Kingdom friendships. Will you be that example? It's in these friendships that the world takes notice and recognizes that we are truly His disciples, His friends.

.

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples,

if you love one another."

.

- Jesus

John 13:35

These Are The Glory Days

Glory Days -

Golden Days of Super Heroes

.

Do you remember that scene - Mr. Incredible walks into his office at home and glances at the framed magazine cover of Glory Days hanging on his wall - featuring Mr. Incredible himself on the front cover. And now that those days are over, he's constantly looking back -- longing for The Glory Days again. He was no longer doing the heroic, noble, dangerous stuff. The manly stuff.

.

Well, there'll be a day when we'll no longer have the opportunities to do those heroic, noble, faith feats - the hard stuff, like loving when it's hard to love, like forgiving, like persevering and having patience, like suffering persecution for Jesus' sake, like all the stuff that takes faith, and courage and love. In the Kingdom to come, this stuff will all be easy.

.

The believer may say, "YES! And I can't wait for heaven! Can't wait until all this is over. Just beam me up now, Captain! Get me out of this evil mess!" Whoa! Not so fast. Don't get me wrong; that longing is good, to want to be freed from this crazy body of sin, to be away from all the evils in this world, to long to be with Jesus in His kingdom to come. But that good longing may be blinding us to a truth that God is wanting us to see and embrace.

.

And that truth is: there are golden opportunities only in this life - holy character building times that this life affords and that will never be repeated - not in heaven, not ever again - for all eternity....that there is something about these evil days we live in that are golden opportunities which will never come our way again...that we will be in heaven looking back at these days and calling them "The Glory Days" or, the days of glorious opportunities that worked a God-blessed- character in us...days that we will never be ours again.

.

And doesn't it make sense? Character is developed in adversity. There will be no adversity in heaven. Therefore, this unique working of Jesus' character can be worked in us in only in this life - not in the next. And it's this "proven character" that works in us hope:

.

"...and not only this, but we also glory in our tribulations,

knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;

and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;

and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God

has been poured out within our hearts

through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

.

Rom 5:3-5 (emphasis mine)

So, what will cause us to "glory in our tribulations?" Knowing that we will have the character of Jesus worked in us, and that these "Glory Days" are the only time in which we will have this opportunity for God to work that character into our souls. And this character is what will be rewarded in the life to come. Who will Jesus want to sit with Him in rulership in the Kingdom to come? Who will Jesus say, "Well done" to? Who will Jesus invite to celebrate with Him at the great banquet in glory? It will be those who appreciated these days as the "Glory Days" and invested their lives in His Kingdom and partnered with Him in His love for people. That's who.

The days in the Kingdom to come will be the "glorious days," but the days we live in today are the "Glory Days."

.

Will we wait for the Kingdom to come to look back at these days and finally appreciate the opportunities that were afforded us in this life? If today (instead of waiting until we get into heaven), we would understand that the "Glory Days" are here and now - in this life - we might find ourselves "cashing in" on those once-in-an-eternity opportunities that come our way through trials, tribulations and scary moments; the opportunities in which character is built, and rewards are won. And we only have one shot at this: This Life. God, by His indwelling Holy Spirit, has given us a power beyond ourselves to love, to suffer, to do great things for Him - or, as Mother Teresa said, to "...do little things with great love." By God's grace and power, we can be those super-heroes to children looking for that role model, or to those in your home, at your workplace, in your congregation, in your neighborhood.

.

So, he who has an ear, let him hear: if the building of character and the attaining of reward is something you value, you will be needing some encouragement in this battle. Those who do not value these things pretty much think heaven is going to be "a wash." Sadly, they think that all Christians will have the same degree of character in heaven; the same reward: the affirmation ("Well done.."), the celebration (at the Great Wedding Feast) and exaltation (that close position with Jesus - being a co-ruler with Him). But that's not what I see in the Scriptures. Only the conquerors, the overcomers (and not every Christian) will be the ones who will be chosen by the Father to co-rule with Jesus. Jesus said, .

"The one [that individual] who conquers [or, overcomes],
.I will grant him to sit with me on my throne,
.as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne.
.He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."

.

Revelation 3:19-22 (emphasis mine)

If you do have that ear to hear, I hope this song I wrote will encourage you (words are complete, music is being worked on...)

.

The Glory Days

Jesus left His glory above
On the cross displaying such love,

which He knew would lead to a greater glory.

.

And when we push aside the glory this world affords
Living only for His eternal rewards

we’ll be found co-writing His great love story

Character is only developed

in the midst of adversity
And when we’re glorified there’ll be no more opportunity

.

Faith will be natural, love – effortless
But today we’re surrounded by sin
So, if we follow Him well
In the face of all of hell
There’s a glory that’s worked deep within.

Yes, these are The Glory Days, today
When we’re in heaven we’ll look back and say
"Those were The Glory Days --
When it took
everything in us to trust and obey
To love the unlovely, to work hard and pray..."
O’ these are The Glo-ry Days – today!

Why is it so hard for us to see
This “vapor” here compared to eternity,

so be sober, be watchful, take heed

.

Only one life, it soon will pass
Only what is done for Christ will last,

and today...today's not even guaranteed.

This life - a time of testing for you and me
A time for investing in eternity
'Cause when we’re glorified, there’ll be no more opportunity
The devil will be bound
The world a happy place
The flesh will be glorified
And this is the only time for this kind of glory to be worked inside

Yes, these are The Glory Days, today
When we’re in heaven we’ll look back and say,
"Those were The Glory Days -
When it took
everything in us to trust and obey
To love the unlovely, to work hard and pray..."
O’ these are The Glo-ry Days – today!

[rap]

For there will never be a time like this to glorify our King
To do noble deeds - to lift our voice and sing
praises to our God when all hell is breaking out around us

.

There will never be a time like this to learn how to care
To be vulnerable, courageous and even dare to share
His Word - for we’ll be in a place where love will always surround us

.
So stop complain’ we’ll soon be reignin’ in the Kingdom to come
Let’s stop askin’ Him to "beam us up" – ‘cause that’s just dumb
Let’s just keep our eyes on the prize, and give our all to the Lord.

.

Let’s stop the “ain’t it awful” sessions -- what good is it for?
The evil, yes, it’s ugly -- but one day it’ll be no more
And there will never ever be another time like this
to go for His reward.

.

So, keep running this race with all your might
Lift up your head, walk tall, and get back into the fight
For the time is short and you have a battle to be won
.

And the greatest joy we’ll bring to Jesus Christ, our Lord
Is when He grants us, on THAT DAY, His full reward
Let’s give the Father a good reason to say "Well done!"

Yes, these are the days to give our all to the Lord
So when we see His face we’ll have less regret and more reward
Come on now -- these are the days to give our all to the Lord
So when we see His face we’ll have less regret and more reward

Yes, these are The Glory Days, today
When we’re in heaven we’ll look back and say
"Those were The Glory Days --

When it took
everything in us to trust and obey
To love the unlovely, to work hard and pray..."
O’ these are The Glo-ry Days – today!

© 2007 Michael J. Ledner