Selfish People Anonymous

Hi. I'm Michael, and I've been sober for about 10 minutes....actually, maybe 7.

I'm one of those people who want to care deeply, but see myself with this addiction to "me" - to "selfishness." Admitting this, I can get on with life and be sober for long periods of time - partnering with Jesus in this awesome business of caring for others - thinking about others before myself. I don't call my tendency toward this ungodly selfishness a "disease," though it's "like" a disease - for it effects every part of my being. It's due to the Fallness of my soul (which I inherited), and yet, I don't have to yield to this pull of selfishiness - which is constantly in me:

"...so I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me..."

- The Apostle Paul, Rom 7:21

I can overcome these pulls by first admitting that there is indeed this tendency to be utterly selfish in every situation I'm in. Then, if I cling to the Lord for His power to overcome, He will shower me with His grace to overcome. Also, I learn to overcome accusation, guilt and shame by taking responsibility for every selfish action I act out, by repenting of the core sin - which is a floundering in my commitment to my Lord (which I can't blame on my fallenness or on a disease). By confessing my sin and thanking my Lord for the blood that "...cleanses me from all sin" (1 John 1:7-10), the enemy can't harrass me with his accusations.

Don't get me wrong; thinking of one's self is not always wrong. There is a sort-of "sanctified selfishness" - as long as what I'm doing is for my true greatest good -such as: growing in character. The pursuit of character growth is an unselfish goal becuase this is God's desire for me. Character is what we bring into glory with us, and proven character is rewarded. To puruse God's reward (verses man's reward) is a noble thing.

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And what is the eternal reward that God encourages me to pursue? It's His Affirmation (hearing from Him "...well done..." given only to the believers who overcome - Matt. 25:21), the Celebration (an invitation to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb - given only to the believers who overcome - Rev. 19:6-9), and Exaltation ("...come take your place of intimacy with Me - of co-rulership" - reserved only for the believers who overcome - Rev. 3:19-22). I'm learning to embrace God's reward (not man's) through Jesus Christ, to cleave to Him, and do whatever He says. As I do, He teaches me how to grow in this area of truly caring for people... for it's only in caring that I am delivered from my selfishness. This proven character only develops in me as I'm faithful in each task and as I puruse caring for others for the sake of receiving God's reward.

Overcoming these selfish pulls and living for Jesus' promised reward is the best thing I can do for myself, and the best way to glorfiy God - for God is most glorifed in our caring for people - with the same love that He loved us. Overcoming these pulls for Jesus' promised reward is doing what's best for myself in an obedient way (He commands us to love one antother, to overcome and to pursue His reward), verses the selfish way of putting my ego, or my pride or my conveniences or comforts above others.

Until I'm glorified, there is much godly character awaiting to be developed in me as I overcome these selfish pulls here and now...a character that can only be developed in the midst of these pulls... in this life - not in the next. This life, with all its struggles and turmoil, is the only time we have to develop this character. One can not develop this charater in "glory" because all the sinful pulls within, and all the evils of the world, and all the demons will be absent. And remember, this character can only be developed in the midst of adversity and opposition. We will one day look back at these days of trial and tribulation as "the Glory Days." I want my life to count for all eternity, and I don't know if I even have another full day left. Time to get one with this business of caring while I still have breath.

One day I'll be delivered from all these selfish pulls. Until then, thank You Lord for this once in a lifetime opportunity to go for that great eternal reward by trusting you in the midst of my crazy selfish pulls and overcoming them by caring for others.. for it's only in caring that I am delivered from my selfishness.

I'm Michael. I'm a selfish person. I've been sober for about 15 minutes now. ... actually, maybe 12. My higher power is a resurrected person. His name is Jesus.

P.S. It may be encouraging to know that the Apostle Paul was a member of "Selfish People Anonymous" - though he was quite an overcomer as well. Listen to his struggle:

I do not understand what I do.

For what I want to do I do not do,

but what I hate I do.
And if I do what I do not want to do,

I agree that the law is good.
As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it,

but it is sin living in me.
I know that nothing good lives in me,

that is, in my sinful nature.
For I have the desire to do what is good,

but I cannot carry it out.
For what I do is not the good

I want to do; no,

the evil I do not want to do —

this I keep on doing.
Now if I do what I do not want to do,

it is no longer I who do it,

but it is sin living in me that does it...
...What a wretched man I am!

Who will rescue me

from this body of death?
Thanks be to God —

through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself

in my mind am a slave to God's law,

but in the sinful nature

a slave to the law of sin.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation

for those who are in Christ Jesus...

- The Apostle Paul, Rom 7:15-20, 7:23-8:1

P.P.S. One may ask, "Michael, O' honest and selfish person, how do you see yourself: as selfish or as godly?" Good question. When it comes to "who I am," I see myself as a glorious Image Bearer, a reborn son of my heavenly Father, a steward and friend of Jesus (who is my Lord and Master), and one of Jesus' co-rulers in training; someone who desires to please God and sometimes does. When it comes to "where I'm at" (in my maturity), I see myself as one in training, but still extremely selfish. My life testifies to this and so will those who really know me - especially my wife - though she is so accepting of me and patient. We have a saying, "Embrace the core and grace the crud." She embraces my core and shows lots of grace to my crud.

This view of myself, in my understanding, is in alignment with what the Bible says of me as well as how I'm really doing. With this view, I walk with confidence (in my new identity that Jesus gave me), but also in humility - not being defensive about or denying my immaturity, but, not letting my sins or sinful pulls identify me. I so appreciate the way Paul ends the passage above by declaring in the next chapter, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." In this whole process, God is for me (not against me), He is with me (and not distant), and He will never condemn me. He totally accepts me - who I am, and where I'm at, All praise to my Great Shepherd who leads me in His awesome ways of caring for others, and helps me to deal with these sinful and selfish pulls as well as my failures. What a rich salvation we have!

Don't Be Fooled By Insincere People

Jesus never answered an insincere question directly. He answerd insincere questions with a question. The way He loved insincere people was by helping them be aware of their insincerity and thereby creating an opportunity for them to repent and deal with thier insincerity. Asking questions is a good way to do that. A perfect example is in Matt 21:23-27

Jesus entered the temple courts, and, while he was teaching, the chief priests and the elders of the people came to him. "By what authority are you doing these things?" they asked. "And who gave you this authority ?"

Jesus replied, "I will also ask you one question. If you answer me, I will tell you by what authority I am doing these things. John's baptism — where did it come from? Was it from heaven, or from men?"

They discussed it among themselves and said, "If we say, 'From heaven,' he will ask, 'Then why didn't you believe him?' But if we say, 'From men'-we are afraid of the people, for they all hold that John was a prophet." So they answered Jesus, "We don't know."

Then he said, "Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things.

Don't you admire Jesus' answer? And He wants His followers to be like Him - to follow Him in dealing with insincere people. Here's an example of an insincere question:

"How can a loving God send a person to hell?" Normally, the person asking this question doesn't even beleive there is a hell, or an afterlife. They think hell is a fictitious place. But they'll get all bent out of shape if they think you're saying they'll end up in this "fictitious" place. When they do get angry at me because I'm saying that Jesus is the only way to escape hell, I usually say, "Tell me, do you believe that hell is a literal place - a place of eternal torment?" Usually the answer is, "No!" Then I respond, "So, why is it that you're so upset with people, like me, who are telling you that you may be heading for a place that you believe doesn't even exist?" They have to think about that a little while...and some people actually own up to their insincerity at that point.

And rightly so. Could you imagine someone being upset with me if I proclaimed to them, "You will never get to Never-Never land if you don't believe in Peter Pan"? Can you imagine them getting angry with me and saying, "That is so judgmental of you... how narrow-minded and condemning you are - thinking that the only way I can get to Never-Never land is to believe in Peter Pan!" Of course not! Instead, they'd say, "You're crazy! You're so childish or insane if you really believe in that stuff." But why is it, then, that those people who don't, or won't believe in Jesus, or in heaven and hell, get so upset when I tell them that if they don't believe in Jesus they will not be qualified for heaven - and will end up in hell - a place that they think is as real as Never-Never land?...people who believe in a resurrected Savior as much as they believe in Peter Pan. This is just plain insincerity - or, they really do know in their heart that Jesus, and heaven and hell is all true, and they are possibly feeling nervous about the whole thing.

Bottom line: either one believes in heaven and hell, or he doesn't! If he doesn't believe in hell, then it would be insincere to get upset with one who is so pathetic as I who believes that this "fictious place called hell" is actually real, and that they're going there without believing in Jesus.

I try to be gracious and show compassion to insincere people with the hope that when a person's insincerity is exposed, he/she will consider heaven and hell in a more sincere way. After all, I didn't make this stuff up. Jesus spoke often of heaven and hell as being literal places, so if people have a hard time with this, they need to take it up with Jesus. Just something to think about… and a few passages to ponder:

John 14:6
Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life;
no one comes to the Father but through Me.

John 11:25-26
Jesus said to her, " I am the resurrection and the life;
he who believes in Me will live even if he dies,
and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die.
Do you believe this?

John 6:47-48
"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes has eternal life.

John 6:40
"For this is the will of My Father,
that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him
will have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day."

John 8:23-25
And He was saying to them,
"You are from below, I am from above;
you are of this world, I am not of this world.
Therefore I said to you that you will die in your sins;
for unless you believe that I am He,
you will die in your sins."

Matt 10:28-29 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

Luke 16:22-24 (actually Luke 16:19-31)
..."The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'

Oh - one more passage and thought:

Prov 26:4-5
Do not answer a fool according to his folly,or you will be like him yourself.
Answer a fool according to his folly,or he will be wise in his own eyes.

In other words, don't step into a fool's arena. You'll both come out losers. Create the arena (with your wise and loving response) that will help the person see his folly. So, the next time you sense an insincere question, whatever you do, resist answering his insincere question. Start communing with your Lord and ask Him for a wise and loving word for this insincere person. You may just be surprised how the Spirit will give you such a life-giving word.